#im interested in seeing how he affects the storyline

[totally-lyrical]

haha dont mind me just revisiting my old bendy au smile :)

[orbch]

people talking about analogical and being like “their identities balance each other out really well” and im like NO KIDDING!!!! 😂🤣

anways heres an essay about their storylines and how they mirror each other

(everything im about to say is very mentally unconstructed and thought up in a 3am haze. and also i feel like all of my thoughts abt sasi are stagnant and surface level so please argue with me if you think im wrong..) (also these ideas have likely already been written a bajillion times. but let me do it anyway LOL)

^ with that being said i feel the need to set a definition on what makes sasi sides “dark sides” and “light sides” because like,, to me the only difference between them is the means in which they get the rest of the sides to listen to them

obviously.. none of the sides are actively trying to be evil. or trying to hurt cthomas on purpose. OBVIOUSLYY. because why the hell would they want to do that? they are all literally That Guy, and all of the sides have their own personal goals for thomas that they want him to follow. this is like. the plot. and very known information..

but remus, janus, and formerly virgil are the “dark sides”… like what? because janus manipulated and pretended to be the other sides because thats the only way he could get the others to really listen to and consider his ideas of self preservation and prioritization? and virgil would actively terrorize the others and thomas to get him to be anxious about the stuff virgil believed it was IMPORTANT for him to be anxious about? and remus. listen remus is a whole lot of “being awful for the sake of being awful” but evidently in DWIT he has a strong attraction to the idea of infamy and legacy. so even he is sort of looking out for thomas in. uhm. his own way i guess…

so obviously we know virgils storyline was;

purposely scare the others to get them to see situations from his point of view -> always get insulted and pushed away for being a “pessimist” (its his entire purpose) -> “duck out” and leave thomas and the others to discover the negative affects of zero anxiety -> only after that, finally become recognized as an important aspect of thomas

tw: mention of suicide [not in detail] (and on that note, i think its a little morbid that the light sides only fully realized virgils worth and objective after he attempted the sanders sides equivalent of suicide (which you can NOT convince me isnt what the concept of “ducking out” is. they are all metaphysical personifications of instinctual human traits. what the hell are they gonna do? become real and walk out of the house? bffr))

and whats logans journey?

be considered the [reasonable problem solver] of the group -> be placed in a MULTITUDE of situations where the range of solutions are emotions v. emotions v. emotions and suddenly be considered “cold hearted” and “uncaring” for your objective view points -> get excluded from discussions and ignored when you try and help in the only way you know how -> ???

i (and most of the fandom) fully believe logan (ESPECIALLY after WTIT) is going to start resorting to some pretty drastic measures to be acknowledged by the rest of the sides + thomas. some actions that are likely incited by a “dark side” (nudge nudge the orange guy nudge nudge). and if the harshness of the measures he takes in order to be listened to is all it takes for the rest of the dark sides to be considered “dark sides” in the first place. then uhh well… well!!!

but anyways yeah. yeah. logan and virgil kinda have mirrored character development and that is so fucking interesting. virgils path from dark to light and logans path from light to dark… sighhh.. good stuff

[zaephix]

alis volat propiis / / blade . . .

having someone be promised to you through fate always felt like a joke to blade, what changes when his head keeps flashing images of you?

warnings: f!reader, soulmate au, little ooc blade and black swan? hurt no comfort, lowk spicy……. , reader is a memokeeper, spoilers for blade’s backstory, spoilers for luofu/penacony storyline, spoilers for kafka’s quest? (if you call modifying canon scenes to fit your story spoilers..)

w/c: 3.63k

a/n: comeback?!?!?!?!?! i took a break bc of skl and today is the first day again hurrayyyyyyy (im gna kms) art cred: mybloodynails on twt

reblogs appreciated!!

the first time blade met you was under the dark cover of night within the xianzhou.

kafka had finished her business in luring the trailblazers into the luofu, leaving blade alone with his pacing thoughts about his revenge. the full moon was up that night, the gentle breeze swaying through his hair. 

during nights like these, all he could do was try and relieve the aching pain through means of other matters. however, without the presence of kafka (subsequently, her spirit whisper), the mara slowly crawls its way back into the back of his mind. and it was nights like these where he would be reminded of that damned mark ingrained into his skin.

soulmates. the concept of having another half to oneself, a connection so deep the universe takes it upon itself to remind you of it every waking second of your life. as a result of this foreseen deep-rooted connection, two intertwined stars sat on top of the veins of his wrist. he hopes whichever aeon who cursed him with this cruel hope is enjoying themself.

and with impeccable timing, you appeared in the corner of his eye. he camouflaged with the wall behind him and observed you. in front of you was a glowing blue orb in the shape of a bubble. you seemed to be deep in thought, mumbling words and tampering with the orb in ways in which he couldn’t comprehend. he’d ask silverwolf about it later, this seemed to be her area of expertise.

“how irrelevant.” these were the last words he had about you as he turned to leave. however,  his movement seemed to have alerted you, as you suddenly appeared in front of him, a dagger now being held at his throat.

“who are you, how much have you seen?” your words are now cut-throat, and he can see your face clearly now. your eyes had a depth and burn he’d never seen before, but other than that, nothing about you appeared to be anything of interest.

“even if i had seen anything, it wouldn’t be of use to me.” his hoarse voice was louder in the silence. this did not affect you, as you then tightened your grip on the dagger and threatened to push it further into his skin.

“nice try. who do you work for?”

he rolls his eyes inwardly in annoyance, and without saying a word, he grabs the arm in which you held the weapon and aimed to unarm you. keyword: aimed.

the moment his fingers made contact with your skin, a burning sensation crept up his arm from his wrist. he then let your hand go hastily, looking at you with a newfound rage.

“what did you d-” the words he meant to say couldn’t escape his mouth, as his question was answered. the cursed mark of his glowed bright white, a blinding source of light in the dark. 

ah. this was his other half.

with a soft gasp, you looked up at him with slightly widened eyes, the incriminating look now gone. the dagger now lay forgotten at your feet, you studied him for a few seconds longer. he did not know what to do under your gaze. he hopes that same aeon is now content with the fruits of its pathetic labors. 

after your quick survey of him, you appeared to almost say something, before a feminine voice reached both your ears.

“(y/n), come, our work here is done.” a woman in purple attire stood at the end of the alley, looking at the two of you with curiosity.

and without a word, you gave him one last look, then turned to leave. he looked down and locked eyes with your left-behind dagger, then picked it up. he looked up again, and you and that strange woman were gone. not a single trace indicating that either one of the two of you were here this night—almost.

he turned the weapon in his hands, his fingers roaming the intricate etchings of the handle. Just a second ago, this was at his throat, the two of you meaning nothing to each other. now, it seemed that destiny placed its card down for the both of you. he had no idea if he should be relieved or not.

looking up at the bright moon, he’s already engraved your name to his mind.

(y/n).

—

through the next few weeks, the encounter between the two of you was shoved to the back of his head. kafka had joked about how he seemed more on edge as of late, he, however, paid her no mind. after that night, he’d “reunited” with his old friends. if he could call them that. 

bitter thoughts clouded his mind once more at the memory of them. he’d had his battle with jingliu, the mentioned fulfilling her promise of granting him a short-lived death. the peaceful and final silence of the scalegorge waterscape felt like music to his ears. for a moment, he’d thought that she’d fulfilled her vow. 

then he was greeted by the sight of kafka.

the mission was over. he was to return to hiding within the shadows of the cosmos. elio would present him with another mission and he would oblige. such is the fate of destiny’s slave.

he thought that this would mean the end of his trip to the luofu, the everlasting ties with the once high cloud quintet now severed. his mara seemed to have something else to say.

kafka led him to a secluded position in the xianzhou, claiming to be able to calm his illness through a different means than usual. he had no choice but to oblige. she said she’d brought in a few friends to help her in this effort, as retaining and sealing memories required a more complicated and experienced skillset.

he’d never imagined that you would appear through the small window of the abode next to kafka and the trailblazer, astute and serious.

and yet, his eyes were not deceiving him. he would be within your presence once more. was this a hidden yearning in his heart? no, it would be foolish of him to plant such feeble desires. the mara must be getting to him quicker than usual at this rate.

a few minutes later, you, kafka, and the trailblazer seemingly split ways. the wine-haired woman stepping in first, before stepping to the side and introducing you.

“bladie, this is (y/n). do you remember the aid i mentioned earlier? this is them. all i ask of you is to trust them, as well as myself.” kafka carefully selected her words before gesturing to you, nodding.

you and blade looked at each other again after what felt like just a few days. your eyes glanced over his disheveled appearance. he couldn’t read you at all. you walked towards him, until you were just a foot away, “hello, bladie was it? i’ll need you to close your eyes and relax, this may feel… unusual.” your voice was soft yet stern—as if you’d done this before.

just as you tilted his head to the side and up again, he muttered something, causing you to lift a brow. “hm?”

“blade. it’s blade.” 

“oh,” you looked surprised at the fact he even said anything, this was the one thing he could read off of you.  “of course, my apologies.” and you went back to checking his pulse and finally rested your index and middle finger on the left side of his frontal bone, your thumb extending down to his jaw to tilt it. 

“okay, i will begin now. you will be put in a state where you feel as if you’re in a trance, and then kafka will use her power to subdue your mara. do you understand?” you looked at him expectantly, and all he could give you was a blank stare. he doesn’t know why you’re doing all this, why you’re being so calm and nice to a mere stranger. nonetheless, he gives you a small nod.

thus, the trance you mentioned reigning over all of his senses. his head droops, he sees different shapes and particles clouding his vision, before everything comes to a pause. the pain was subdued, just as you said.

he felt like sighing out of relief, a relief he hadn’t felt in a long time. then, a figure stepped out of the darkness in front of him.

you.

you looked exactly the same as before, except in new clothes, clothes that were native to one world— the xianzhou luofu. and this time, you bore a soft smile on your face, your eyes lighting up with an unfamiliar sparkle.

“▜█▍▆▛█▍▆! there you are, ▉█▍▆▜▀▍ and I had been looking for you for ages. are you still forging those new weapons for the cloud knights? don’t even bother… come home… missed… go…”

the words that were spilling out of your mouth went in one ear and out of the other. throughout the midst of this, he was still stuck on you, and what this meant. you two must have known each other in his past life. the one he just severed his ties to.

 even while knowing this, he can’t seem to take his eyes off of your form. he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. but he doesn’t question it much. not when you motioned your hand towards his still one. not when you grabbed it, your warmth spreading through his cold hand, even if for a split second. he didn’t even question it when he watched his… old self, white hair flowing down his back, be taken away by your sweet voice.

he felt oddly at peace. watching the two of you quietly walk away now in a field of lilies, your smile clearly infectious to himself. this was until he felt webs crawling their way up from his feet, slowly inching towards his head. his vision grew blurry again, and he quickly realized his fleeting dream has come to its end. he accepted without fuss.

soon, he was done. kafka was talking to him about the procedure or something along those lines. he didn’t really recall what she exactly said, something about the trailblazer fending off monsters while she worked her technique.

kafka realized this, and quietly looked over to where he was looking. across from them in front of the small house was you, conversing with the trailblazer with a gentle smile. he doesn’t know how long he was staring for until he watches you bid the trailblazer goodbye and signal kafka that you were off. 

your eyes locked with blade’s for longer than just a second, a small look of pity in your eyes. you then smiled at him. the same soft smile he saw just moments ago.

he doesn’t know why, but he feels an urge to go with you. to follow you until there was nowhere else to go.

it seemed like he keeps getting rendered clueless when it comes to you.

“i’m off. see you, kafka.”

he grunts, exiting the abode now with something else to haunt his mind. he can’t figure out if he minds it or not.

—

“finally done. black swan, you think they got the rest of the bombs?”

she looked at you smiling, “i don’t think they have, but we’ve made significant progress. the rest is up to them now.”

you hummed, looking out at the night sky on the ship. “do you think it’s an actual bomb?”

she chuckles, “of course not. that masked fool might be dangerous but i’m sure she wouldn’t pull off a stunt as… arduous as this for an actual tragedy. she simply wants to make a fool of everyone.”

you snort. “that does seem like her, doesn't it?”

you both sit in silence under the stars, commotion ringing in your ears. it seems that they’ve only got a few bombs left. you look over at black swan one more time, signaling her that you were gonna go somewhere more secluded. she gives you that small smile again, before leaving you with a message.

“it appears that there's a visitor on one of the top floors of this ship. i think the only reason of his appearance was to see someone in particular. you should go see him. he’s getting restless.”

you picked up on who it was immediately. you gave her a  sigh, giving her a grateful smile. “thanks swan. i’ll deal with it and be right back.”

she looks at you, her brows slightly furrowed as you begin to turn.

“(y/n). you should stop avoiding him, for your own sake. you both are soulmates for a reason. you can never really escape each other.”

you turn around again, about to speak. she beats you to it.

“ah ah. you heard me. i know you. feelings like this make you nervous, but with how everything has been going for you lately, i’m positive you need some stimulation from time to time. embrace it. you are one of the few to be so lucky as to have something as special as a soul tied to your own. accept it.”

you could’ve sworn you heard a little bitterness in her strict yet gentle tone, but she then gives you a pat on your head motioning for you to go up. you say nothing as you watch her go towards where the commotion is.

that woman seemed to always know how to read you like an open book.

—

you try to find the dark-blue haired man throughout 3 different floors, to no avail. if it was not clear before, this was clearly the skills of a stellaron hunter. you make your way to the top floor of the ship, empty and barren. from the top and from behind the railings, you see people still scrambling around.

you figured sooner or later the dark haired man would show himself, and you would be in for a… conversation to say the least. you shake the thought away and observe down to where the trailblazer and firefly are, making their way towards the pool at the front.

you don’t realize, but you hold your breath. black swan told you it was nothing to be fussing over, yet you can’t help yourself. and slowly, you back away, choosing not to look at what might as well be a tragic spectacle. 

you end up hitting your back on something firm.

hands shoot out to grab at your waist, steadying you. you look up, finally meeting the gaze of the man you were avoiding right up until now.

“blade.” your breath hitches in your throat. 

he acknowledges you with a low hum before releasing you. he makes his way to the railing watching his fellow stellaron hunter, and you take this as an invitation to observe along with him.

you decide to break the silence.

“i thought you weren’t included in that script of yours. i heard as much at least from firefly.” you try to carefully choose your words, not knowing what to say from here.

“let’s just say… a certain birdie gave me a clue as to where i could go next.”

black swan.

you sigh, that memokeeper has meddled far too much in your life already.

“calm yourself. that woman has her own agenda to be sure, but she doesn’t seem to have any ill intentions.” he’s quiet before he adds on to his statement. “i cannot say the same for another.”

with this, you look back at him with a puzzled expression. “is this about our first encounter? well i did not mean for things to escalate as quickly as they did, but-”

he turns to you with anger, quickly pinning you against the railings.

“i am not talking about that.”

“i meant the last time we saw one another. when you put me in that… trance.”

you look at him with shock as he spits out that last word. does he hate you? what did he even see?

you collect yourself, now glaring up at him the same way as you did the first time. “what did you expect me to do? rock you against my chest with a nice lullaby to go with it? i did what was necessary, i’m sure you understand. i wouldn’t have even been there if it hadn’t been for-”

“do you remember?”

his gruff voice cuts you off yet again. and by this point you’ve grown fed up with his antics.

“remember what exactly?”

“my past. your past. our past.”

he grabs your wrist and lifts it to your eye level. it’s glowing, not as bright as before but still prominent enough to where it looks like a dim star regaining its energy. his wrist seems to be doing the same.

“the very… reason… as to why we are even connected yet again in this life is because of something else that took place in the past. and with you being a memokeeper, i’m sure you know more than a thing or two.”

he said the rest through his teeth, his grip unwavering on your wrist. and, for the first time in your life, you felt fear. not just because of the man before you, but of what consequences that could be in store for you because of your past actions.

blade chuckles darkly at your ‘realization’. “do you need a reminder?”

you hear fireworks being set off in the background but you don’t make a single move to see what was happening. the man in front of you bares his teeth a little, and before he could beat you to it, you grab ahold of the back of his head and lean in spontaneously.

the kiss was not slow, sensational or soft. rather it was exactly the opposite. it was all teeth and tongue, your emotions colliding aggressively as you both battle them out. he tastes like nothing you note, until you taste the iron tang of blood on your tongue. suddenly, he takes control, hands sliding and setting themselves firmly on your hips. 

blade was not a forgiving man, you know that now. so why are you hoping for more outbursts like this again? why are you imagining waking up to kisses like these, knowing your lives couldn’t be anymore different?

your vision was growing hazy and your eyes half lidded, threatening to shut. your soft whines against him fuel him even more, his eyes glowing a vibrant red with the light of the fireworks reflecting off of him. your lips detach from his with a delicious ‘pop!’, a string of saliva connecting the two of you before he goes in and starts kissing your throat.

you prided yourself on being a smart woman, able to handle difficult situations with ease. you suppose nothing could have prepared you for this moment in your life, you’ve never met someone filled with as much rage and passion as blade. he was destiny’s slave. and you can’t resist his desperation as much as you’d have liked, instead yours just as much matched his own.

you now realize how close your bodies are. his unusually cold hands are starting to feel warmer now, and a few sweat beads make it down your forehead. you throw your head back, eyes closed shut in pleasure, the wind cooling you off — and at the tip of your tongue, his name. 

“blade…”

he pays you no mind, groaning against your throat as his hands roam around, one sitting on the side of your head and the other on the plush of your ass. he smiles against your skin as you pant out soft gasps, your hands gripping hard in his hair.

blade winces slightly as you pull his hair back, your face flushed and your neck covered in love bites. he looks at you with an unreadable expression before letting his hands fall down to his sides. it appears his old stoic self is back.

you look at him wistfully through your lashes, the fireworks now having subsided and sounds of cheers and drinks clinking making their way inside the vast rooms of the ship. 

you took this as a sign that your time was over with him.

just as you were about to say your farewell and hurriedly make up some excuse that black swan was expecting you, blade takes something out of his pocket slowly and toys with it in his hands. 

it was your dagger.

with a soft exclamation, you reach out towards it. however, it seemed that he had different plans, for he swiftly pulls it away — giving you an annoyingly taunting look with just his brows. he dangles it with his finger through the hole at the base, the metal shimmering.

“are you done?” you prod, crossing your hands.

he looks at you for a little longer, almost as if he’s deciding on whether or not to give it to you. and with careful consideration it seems, he turns to leave.

you supposed this was the stellaron hunter’s way of saying that you two will have to meet again for you to be able to finally take your dagger back, so you let it go. his long dark teal and red hair flow behind him against the wind before he jumps and disappears into the darkness beyond your reach.

“alis volat propiis…” you hum as you yourself turn around as well, staring down at the dying crowd and dimming lights. the promise etched into your wrist always felt like a burden to carry around, with countless theories and what-ifs clouding your thoughts every day. 

actually meeting him changed the way you felt, and you felt yourself already looking forward to your next encounter. maybe you would be able to work with such a childish want.

“he flies by his own wings.”

[nztsume]

i think the thing that interests me the most about homelander is 10000% the fact that hes redeemable and likable just because of the fact of how much he loves the people he loves and how much he needs to be loved by them. like that makes him SO interesting to me, and the more we discover about him the more his insanity makes sense. the fact that nobody ever in his life saw him as any other than a product or a message or a pennant but never a HUMAN, and the fact that he himself doesnt want to see himself as a HUMAN when he so clearly is because all of this!!! the fact that hes gets so pathetically obsessed with any woman that shows him some love and attention, even if its fake! the way he refused to kill maeve because a part of him genuinely loves her still, the fact that when annie kissed him for the fake dating thing he was genuinely GENUINELY into it, and not in a sexual way. he fucking SMILED into the kiss??????? 'i'm glad you're here'???????????? the way stormfront never gave him any genuine show of affection, when it was clearly all about the sex and the power she had over him and he still didnt see it because he was so glad there was a woman who was willingly giving him what he understood as affection (that for her was just sex) idk i just feel like theres something so innocent about his character that the rest of the guys in the boys dont have - which is a clear reflection of how traumatized he was in the lab, how he never quite understood how to navegate his emotions as a grown up and develop actual self love. he loves homelander, but does he love john? everyone loves homelander, but who loves john? im obsessed. and i love how this spills into things that men who stan him actually would never accept or understand- like the fact that he doesnt even care about looks, he doesnt even care about his own supposed ideals where he considers supes superior to humans. he doesnt even care about loyalty!!!! otherwise hed loved firecracker. he simply wants a woman who will love him, really love him, like nobody ever loved him in his life. (and if you think about it thats soooooooo tragic. imagine not even having parents that love you... not even your own fucking child!!!! despite you doing everything to make him not have to go through what you went through!!!! despite giving him your undivided attention- even when youre one of the most important people in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and by the way, im really glad they didnt go for a super easy and predictable storyline where sister sage would pretend she loves him to manipulate him- because that would have been incredibly boring. and one last thing: this is soooo silly and petty but this is why the single most infuriating and insufferable thing in the fandom is the way men stan him, because in universe, theyd literally be the kind of people homelander would fucking hate LMFAOOOO because they ignore all of these essential parts of his character because they are too busy wankin over ashley look at me

[slavhew]

murdoc for character opinions

god. murdoc. im admittedly not deep in enough to hard assess my opinions from 2018 vs now, but let's give a quick run through.

i love murdoc. but he's also hard to talk about. so i think its best to jump forward to what i find most compelling about him: it's someone's capacity to grow and change even relatively late in life.

He has a start in life that, speeding over all of THAT, leaves him a very vapid, self centered and cruel person by the time the band becomes a thing. Bit by bit, tooth by pulled tooth, he learns to see things differently.

And this is where that "canon isn't real if i dont look at it"- the continued existence of gorillaz's storyline depends on there being an antagonist, and that is historically Murdoc's role. So a lot of that development will get retconned, glossed over, etc. I don't really blame JH for that anymore, that's just how these things often go with properties that have this kind of extended shelf life.

Murdoc is a person that distills all his hurt into anger, excuses his loneliness as being "by choice" and buries trauma under ego, posturing and hypersexual behavior. But as it is when you form bonds with people, tentative as they might be, they change you. Phase 3 is the climax of this, and phase 6 was both the """final""" relapse of his bad tendencies (post TNN cough) and the end of his arc with The Lost Chord.

THAT ALL BEING SAID, he's silly to me. I count all the material of him being Oddly Polite or giggly as canon whether it's Phil Cornwell breaking character or not.

Murdoc has two faces: one for the paps, and another for the fans. One crude and attention seeking, and a softer more relaxed one for when he ACTUALLY gets to discuss his interests and the music he makes. He plays the media like a fiddle, since having eyes on him is an old skill he's long since mastered.

My possible divergences from fanon at large? I haven't been in touch lately, but I remember some interpretations being popular that I disagree with, so I'll just state my takes:

He's not iredeemable or stupid or remorseless, he grows to care about his bandmates very early on but is VERY slow on the uptake of identifying that affection, and he's much smarter than he lets on. Also no beef to people who ship 2doc but man it is just not my cup of tea. They're coworkers slash fffrriiienndsss?? who needle each other constantly.

AS FOR HEADCANONS: very simple.

A lot of his stunts in the public eye are coordinated- when he said he refuses to get on the stage on other people's terms, this includes the paps. If he's going to be hated, he might as well do that with intention and style

That being said, it's also a self-made excuse to be a debaucherous asshole as well as how he justifies the overindulgence to himself.

Selling his soul had progressive effects on his appearance

green skin, pointy ears, pointier teeth. he used to wear a red contact. he doesn't have to anymore!

the red eyes would be bilateral but in phase 5 the eye injury resulted in anisocoria- bowie-esque. He isn't sure if this is another manifestation of his deal for musical success, or karma.

because of his reduced vision and MULTIPLE stints in prison he is jumpier than ever

he has an unibrow! the fringe hides it because it grows back too fast, and murdoc is vain.

he used to have a fuller face, but as of phase 2 the stardom (drugs, poor self-care) started affecting his appearance. Phase 3 was even more brutal in terms of this. by the time phase 4 rolled around and he got clean, the buccal fat was gone for good, courtesy of plain aging!

short, skinny and not in the healthy way. again, phase 1-2 sees him develop a beer gut under xylophone ribs, phase 3 he's at his worst health-wise. Phase 4 and 6 see him put some real padding on, finally. (5 is a step back due to incarceration)

phase 5 issss fiiiineee... but i prefer respect-false-iconz (aka ezracaution)'s canon divergent exploration of it, The Code

lastly: projection? brother that's the bisexuality, shortness, edginess for show and anger issues. that's just text.

[hiemaldesirae]

Ok so imagine an au where early on into their friendship Vox gets the idea that he’s probably just some entertainment to pass the time for Alastor and that their friendship will end in Vox being heartbroken and Alastor moving on like nothing happened I mean he’d seen it happen with Alastors other business partners so it’s only a matter of time before that it happens to him and the way Alastor doesn’t seem interested when Vox talks about anything certainly doesn’t help so why would Vox put his all in a friendship that was probably doomed from the start so instead of just waiting for the eventual heartbreak Vox slowly becomes more and more distant he would talk less give short answers to any questions and worse of all he wouldn’t talk about any of his ambitions anymore ensuring that they would just quietly drift apart and for the most part it’s all going well but Alastor isn’t dumb he realized pretty quickly what Vox was trying to do you see Vox was right about a lot of things he didn’t really value what they had as much he was planning on just abandoning Vox whenever he got bored but that was in the beginning now it was different Alastor got unexpectedly attached to Vox even seeing him as his inspiration his muse and only his he can see that Vox is trying to leave him and that just won’t do Vox would stay by his side no matter what.

HOLD THE PHONE... nonny youre cooking. youre cooking like hell rn im literally frothing at the mouth for this concept

ill be fr i feel kiiinda like a hypocrite saying i like this sort of storyline because i kinda hate seeing it displayed in popular media like time-regression manhwas and stuff, but for some reason it just feels like such natural progression here i cant find anything wrong with this specific portrayal of them because. Yeah. in a world where vox is a little more cognizant with perhaps cracked rose glasses, he'd probably realize that alastors just toying with him early on. and maybe at one point he might have thought, no but i can fix him... but as time went on, he slowly grew more and more disillusioned and given how dangerous he knows breaking off the alliance directly with alastor would be he probably begins to collect allies elsewhere and branch off from alastor slowly- tries to make himself quieter, more withdrawn and *boring* so that he can make alastor break it off with him first and disregard whatever he does next

but ALASTOR on the other hand... oh he is Not taking that !!! at first if he'd seen vox slowly inching away, he might have paid a blind eye to it and let it happen- that is, if that was back when they'd first met. now, with years of having vox by his side... how could he possibly go back to a world without that delightful, silly little picture box of his? no, no, this couldnt do- if vox was going to try and slip away, that little rascal, then he'd just have to work harder to keep him by his side!

thus starts a bunch of shenanigans where vox, suddenly treated to alastor paying MUCH much more attention to him than ever before and lavishing praise and affection on him for no apparent reason is simultaenously terrified out of his mind (is he lovebombing me just to kill me later?!?!?) and also deliriously happy (because alastors finally paying attention to him, does this mean he wont kill me??) and its a silly romcom if you ignore the fact that alastor looks like hes about to atticwife vox the second one more person looks at his muse

[tannertbosas]

rant to elaborate on my previous post …

so my point was, that tanner received the fandom treatment that reaper & jessup deserved, but this is just simplified.

reaper and jessup themselves are pretty popular and relevant characters in tbosas fandom, but most of the time when I see stuff about them, it’s very surface level.

meanwhile for tanner, which is way less relevant in the story of tbosas, probably out of every main tribute, i’ve seen people provide way more over-analysis of his character and behaviour (i am 100% included) that I feel like are a bit unnecessary and is, at the end, overlapping reaper and jessup’s character traits. one part of the fandom refuses to look past his dancing over lamina’s dead body in the book storyline, and the other part is trying *too* hard to make him seem entirely innocent. but that’s just common fandom behaviour, i’ve seen multiple other characters receiving the same treatment.

but tanner is depicted negatively in the book and in the movie, showed to be lacking of empathy and eager about killing (ranting about slaughterhouse methods in his interview) while reaper and jessup are characters that are depicted positively, and are both separately very interesting characters. reaper also tried to attack people, and in the book, apologised to the other tributes for having to kill them in the arena, but then promised that their death wouldn’t be meaningless, and he then performed a rebellious act in the arena by tearing down the capitol’s flag and forming a morgue with the deceased tribute’s bodies, which is the most important act of the 10th hunger games , but people seem to look past that. i have personally barely seen anyone try and give it an over-analysis like they would do to their favs!

jessup on the other hand was shown to be protective of lucy gray since the beginning, and jumped over lysistrata to protect her from the arena’s bombing. and he also had one of the most interesting character plots, having rabies, that he passed to reaper in the zoo, at least in the books. his death was also very interesting, on how it affected lysistrata, and her words about him.

as for fandom treatment, i’m mostly talking about pure “fandom” stuff. I can’t blame people for not having them as favourite characters, but it feels very exclusive to barely ever see reaper or jessup included in fanworks, such as fanfiction, which is very popular in the TBOSAS fandom. to continue about fanfiction, i’ve also been noticing a lack of pairing containing the two characters (separately), while both being very interesting and good natured characters, or if they are in a pairing, it is very overlooked. meanwhile people have no problem shipping tanner with, i could say, anyone, while being almost… antisocial.

this just doesn’t make lots of sense to me, how quick people will say oh tanner is actually very caring, oh he was kind, his dance over someone’s literal dead body had a deeper meaning, could be rebellious, etc… im all for headcanons, do what you want, but those headcanons that most apply to tanner, are actually closer to reaper and jessup’s characters.

this is NOT to force anyone to do anything. this is just my personal observation in this fandom. maybe it’s just since i talk a lot about tanner, most stuff I see is around him. i just find the lack of consideration for such good written and interesting characters such as reaper & jessup a big waste, especially if you’re gonna applicate it to a very less relevant character.

[leolingo]

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

[stupidrant]

Thank you for tackling another facet of fandom's misogyny which is justifying the hatred for and dismissal of story important female characters and their no less important relationships with male leads by means of invented (and often completely ridiculous) M/M ships. Hei**tre*s is a perfect example of that as it's preferred over a canon romantic storyline for Atreus (which is Atreus/Angrboda). Whereas Heimdall is worshiped and prioritized over Angrboda despite the fact that he is a textbook filler character and a stereotypical two dimensional secondary antagonist "who dies first".

Yet Angrboda whose every single scene brings something new to the story or moves the plot and whose interactions with Atreus are so vital to said plot you cannot omit a single one of them without the game becoming completely different and Atreus's arc crumbling and losing logic, cohesion and sense is dismissed as "boring".

This is that "woke misogyny" that we discussed before (and proves yet again how gamebros and "progressives" are in fact the two sides of the same bigoted coin, just like Alphas and Nice Guys).

Furthermore, this "progressive misogyny" pattern often includes those people making up "arguments" as to why male lead's relationship with a multi-faceted female character is supposedly "unhealthy" or "forced" (which is laughable given their own fanon ships have zero basis in canon). But their imagined M/M ship is somehow "complex and inspiring" because they want a male character they (often undeservedly) put on a pedestal (in this case Heimdall) to get a trophy in the form of another character (Atreus). Whom they - and that's the most absurd part - often also hate as much as they do his canon female love interest. But deem this "worthless and annoying fun-sponge" to be good enough to be a prize for their favourite man.

It's the same toxic thinking that, within the non-romantic realm, reduced Atreus to Kratos's prize and then concluded he wasn't worth becoming one. However, trolls decided that Atreus still might fulfill their fantasy of Thrud/Atreus or Heimdall/Atreus and become a prize for one of them. That's why their favourite moments in their interactions is when Thrud or Heimdall exert physical violence against Atreus and "put that runt in place".

Meanwhile, Angrboda is also seen as an "unworthy" prize, just for Atreus. It all boils down to dehumanization and treating one character as an accessory for another (and shoes how sexism affects characters regardless of gender, just in a different way). That's why canon Atreboda makes trolls so angry as it's an equal and supportive relationship for both of them.

You are also correct in seeing the potential in Skjoldr, sadly, likely becoming that glorified secondary male character whom trolls might use as a perfect cover for their misogyny. So they could continue dismissing or putting down Angrboda to prop up Atreus's interactions with Skjoldr and Thrud. Another scenario that isn't out of the realm of possibility is, as you noted, Atreus forming a trio with Skjoldr and Thrud, with Angrboda being pushed to sidelines.

Now, obviously, canonically neither Skjoldr nor Thrud would ever become Atreus's love interests and are most likely going to have a romantic arc of their own, with one another. But before it happens or in the process of it happening the writers/developers might opt for the "bros over romance" route in regards to A/T/S trio vs Atreboda relationship. It's all the more plausible if the other, grim scenario I suggested before comes to pass and Skjoldr is ultimately sacrificed for Thrud's angst (and, in this case, Atreus's as well, in a platonic sense).

With the criticism she gets, i think they will go against the “bros over atreboda” thing. I think atreboda will be a bigger focus and understandably so (or at least im hoping they will. as i said before, they continued with atreus despite trolls. Im expecting them to do the same with angrboda) I’ve noticed most main (or only) love interests get treated like this. And its usually the female ones in particular. i dont understand why so many people hate on them all the time? Its not like theyre always the same yet there is smth “unappealing” to so many people about said love interests all the time. I wonder if it has to do with the “not like other girls” sort of thing..

[macklemorrigan]

initial veilguard thoughts under cut

biiiiiig momma SPOILERS

it's complicated!!!!

the thing is, i enjoyed myself playing it, ya know? i had fun discovering the world of northern thedas. seeing tevinter, rivain, antiva. i enjoyed getting to experience a different side of thedas than we have the last three games.

ill need another playthrough to fully get it, i feel like i need to make different choices to see just how much choice matters in this game. i feel like i got the "good" ending with relative ease.

this game felt like it was holding my hand through it, trying to warn me that i'm about to have to make a choice. a choice? in a dragon age game? well will there be consequences?? will you tell me explicitly what those consequences will be so i don't accidentally make the wrong choice in this role playing game where i'm roleplaying a character? like i get it... but running in blind and discovering the outcomes is half the fun.

i like rook. voiced protags always have a sort of "them"-ness that has to underlie everything regardless of dialogue choices. i think rook suffers that more than other protags in the series, but like i said, i like them, so that was fine for me.

hated the varric twist. hated it. hated it down. varric was mostly nothing the whole game anyway. unless i missed something major, he only had like a couple cut scenes. he felt ornery anyway, so idon't feel like the twist is justified by some big role he played in rook's story. very clearly they were relying on the players already existing love for the character. which works on me a little!!!!!!!! in the moment!!!!!!! but ill cry to almost anything with a moving musical motif transfixed behind it. might have been an interesting twist if he turned out to be a spirit that watched varric and took his shape or something. i don't know, man... just - anything - other than the "and he was dead the whole time" dead horse.

combat in a dragon age game fun confirmed????? that being said, it got boring after a while and as usual some fights overstay their welcome. also a two companion party???? when so much approval is dependent on bringing them with you, and with party composition being as important as it is in higher level difficulties, that was a bummer. i enjoyed the difficulty of combat but i felt like i couldn't keep it high or else i would lose out on content with companions.

speaking of companions, i liked them for the most part! unfortunately a lot of them felt 1 note as did a lot of their content. i didn't feel like i learned very much about them outside of what the moral of their story was supposed to be.

character quests... i liked hardings, i liked davrins, i liked emmerichs and that's it. i wanted to like bellara's, i felt like there was so much potential. how is a storyline about a forgotten one boring???

i saved minrathous so lucanis was hardened. ill have to do another playthrough, but i feel like i missed out on a lot of lucanis' character because of that, which i don't like. i don't mind if it affects the characters relationship to me (ability limitations, character approval penalty, cuts off romance option), but i got no bonding scenes with him, no interactions with spite. i had to drag his speeding ass along every adventure just to keep his approval up, and even then, at the end of the game i still feel like i barely knew the guy. i never got the chance!

i have more thoughts but this actually got more negative than i wanted so im gonna stop. like i said, i had fun. i hope if anything it breathes new life into the fandom and franchise. i will enjoy making rook and co content soooo much i know it im just waiting for my tablet to charge so i can share her with you. okay thanks if you read this far bye

[lamialamia]

Mota ep 4 rewatch thought

I know im crazy late but i'm on vacation haha. Will be binging ep4 to 6 to catch up.

Thoughts, in order of appearance:

I actually didn't catch that Blakely wrote down "I hope" in his letter omg hahaha

Rosie!!! My main man!! Coming in hot with his terrible dance moves and talking about his skivvies in front of the hot senpais... classic. I stand firm that in the modern AU, Rosie would be a jazz lover who can't sing nor dance, but he would always be tearing up the dance floor any way

The puppy love between Nash and Helen is really cute. It has this hopeful naivety tinged with fear and anxiety, the war looming in the background of their dancing and flirtation. I like Helen, I do. But then again I remember how she barely turns up anymore after this plotline of her being a love interest to one of the pilots... and I'm that picture of Ben Affleck sighing with his cig

I can appreciate the effort to try to include women and their participation in the war... but this ain't it. It isn't about the quantity of women with speaking lines but the quality of their character and their arc

Talking about women. I like the Polish woman, Paulina, more this time as I rewatch. For the super brief period she's on screen, she's giving me plenty to dig into. Her loneliness, her banter with Bucky, her backstory, her vengeful hatred for the German, and then her decision to walk away from Bucky to protect herself. It's a compelling snapshot of someone who is very personally affected by the war, in contrast to Bucky who actively participates in it but manages to put a boundary between him and the consequence of his action.

The very brief glimpse into his inner conflict watching the violence outside, and then the screaming mother, is cool. If only we get to see this later on 🙃 Wouldn't that make these scenes hit even harder 🙃

Another thing. as much as I enjoy the Quinn & Bailey's euro escape storyline... I can't find it in me to care about it upon rewatch. I already know this sidequest ultimately will be wrapped up too quickly in the future episodes, there won't be anything else in store, I won't be seeing anymore of Minon or Michou, or any of the europeans resistance force... and thus, I ask myself: do I really have to care???

Quinn's freak out on the train is the 'climax' of the storyline. I'll be honest: so lame.

The narration going: Noone else want to do this mission as much as Buck Cleven! really makes me go, I think I would prefer to see that happen onscreen instead of hearing Crosby telling me about it 🙂 That supposed determination from Buck is barely there. That whole scene is more about Lemmons' determination rather than Buck's 🙂🙂🙂

But at least I get to see John's mental health declining the moment he heard his bff is down.

So I got that going for me.

[captain-gillian]

tag game tuesday friday (better late than never?): 911 lone star edition

thank you @tellmegoodbye for creating this tag + tagging me

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

i watched og from when it started airing in australia because it looked interesting in the trailers, and i was hooked straight away. i saw they were making a spin off and thought the premise looked really interesting, so despite my strong dislike for a certain main cast member, i gave it a go. while i haven't been engaging in the fandom the whole time, i've been watching since the first episode, weekly as it's aired in the us because i'm not going to risk spoilers waiting an extra several months to watch it as it airs here

Which season is your favorite?

nothing will ever beat season 3 for me

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

if it wasn't obvious from the theming of my blog, I am a nancy girl through and through. she has been my favourite since season 1 where paramedic gillian had less than 10 minutes air time and no first name. i am a nancy gillian fan first and a lone star fan second.

Top five episodes. Go!

in no particular order 4x09 road kill 3x13 riddle of the sphynx 3x08 in the unlikely event of an emergency 3x07 red vs blue 2x09 saving grace

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

nancy. she's the character we canonically know the least about, and i am desperate to know more. i'd love an episode where an emergency in the present day takes us through flashbacks showing her journey to the 126, why she became a paramedic, who she is outside of work, her previous relationships, her relationship with her family. whether it be from an emergency they're responding to reminding her of some past event/trauma or her being injured/in peril and reflecting on her life up until that point.

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

i'm really interested to see why there's a bts photo with nancy in a capt. gillian name tag on her uniform and explore how nancy being chosen as (i'm assuming temporary/acting) captain and that change in leadership structure affects dynamics in the firehouse, her relationship with tk both personally and professionally, her relationship with mateo and how he handles the change in dynamic in the work place, and all the other dynamics and interpersonal relationship changes within the firehouse as a result of it, and how the dynamics would be affected by pressumably introducing another new paramedic to take her spot while she's filling tommy's. i just think it would be really interesting, and also really interesting to see why tommy isn't the captain, is she stepping down temporarily for family reasons, is she suspended, is she injured, is she being promoted? so many possibilities to explore.

im doing two answers because i'd also really love to see (though 99% sure it wouldn't happen in a short season especially) a holiday episode, there are so many holidays towards the end of the year, not just Christmas and an episode featuring the different ways that different members of the 126 celebrate their respective holidays and each other's holidays could be a really lovely episode, especially with some of the cheesier christmas emergencies we've seen covered on og sprinkled into that, as holidays are always going to be a busy time for first responders.

What do you think is going on in this still?

given tk's posture, i think it's a call that they were apprehensively expecting/waiting on, maybe for news about an ongoing investigation (either into gabriel's death or something that won't be introduced until the new season)

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

look, i'm gonna be honest, as a lesbian its not something i've thought about at all, so i don't have a prediction, but i'm happy for all of y'all who wanted this that you'll be getting it

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

probably somewhere local/within texas, it's not anywhere specific in my mind because my knowledge of united states geography is minimal, but i feel like even if they'd had plans to travel further they would have changed to stay closer to home given the circumstances leading up to the wedding.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

i'm shouting out more than one, you can't stop me firstly, i always knew you'd find your way by @fallout-mars which is a masterpiece of writing and a really great outsider (nancy) pov of tarlos' relationship, love love love love this fic next, soulmates aren't just lovers by @nancys-braids this is such a beautiful (canon divergent) look at nancy and carlos' pasts and their friendship, i do not have enough words to convey just how much i adore this fic and how it's written and finally, the ring in by @welcometololaland which is one of the first tarlos fics i ever read, back in 2022 before i had a ls tumblr, it's such a fun read, cannot reccomend it more highly, i absolutely adore this fic.

an open tag because i'm so late, if you see this and you wanna do it, consider this me tagging you <3

[uncloseted]

I adore your account about Cassie but i genuinely hate effy.. she is the least likable charcater in the show, i mean yeah her mental disorder affects how she acts but couldnt they make her more likable? All of the charcaters in the show had problems but they were still more likable than she is, if for example her depression was caused by seeing tony getting hit by a bus, freddie's mother killed herself but he was still a caring sweet person unlike her and a lot of charcaters has been through worse than her but she acts like shes the only person w troubles lmao, divorce is sooo common that it doesnt even give the person an excuse to be asshole, she literally held hands with freddie in class and kissed him then goes at the end of the episode and fuck his best friend, she didnt deserve him any bit.

she also goes on and hits katie with a rock out of self defense but then doesnt tell anything to anyone and goes to fuck freddie and leaves her there? Come on now. she somehow feels like a side character even though most charcaters in the show like her because her personality is so hollow and boring and incredibly flawed more than everyone in gen 2.

yeah kaya is gorgeous and effys style is amazing, but i feel like thats the only thing likable the charcater has, i think if she was bad looking no one would even like her even Freddie or cook, because thats the reason they all liked her from the beginning isnt it? Just her looks. And anyways why the hell she only befriends girls that guys arent usually into like panda and the girl in gen 1? Is it some thing to make her feel better about herself and not feel threatened? , because she was clearly not interested in any of them

Im so sorry for talking a lot, i genuinely love your account and your opinions though! And im interested to hear your opinion about this

No worries at all! I love when people write a lot. I don't think you're alone in finding Effy annoying, which is fine. But I think the fact that she isn't always likeable is one of the reasons why the way they portray her mental illness is so realistic. Mental illnesses are illnesses. By definition, they impact people's lives in a negative way and cause them to make decisions that they wouldn't make if they were healthy.

And Effy is no different. If you were living with the delusion that falling in love would cause otherworldly demons to break through from the other side and come torture you, you'd probably do whatever you can to push the person you're in love with away, too, you know? And with the Katie/rock situation, I think Effy doesn't totally remember or understand what happened until they can't find Katie the next day - either as a result of having been on drugs or (and this is what I believe) as a result of being in the middle of a psychotic episode. Once she realizes what happens, she does call an ambulance to find and treat Katie. Does it suck to do those things to another person? Of course. She could have killed Katie, and that's very real and very serious. But Effy can only act within the context of what she believes to be true, and her beliefs about the world are heavily influenced by her mental illness. A lot of the time, she's not really in a headspace where she can make decisions that are coherent to the outside world. And that means that she's coming from a very different place than someone like Tony, who does awful things to other people on purpose just to see what he can get away with. I've always seen her as someone who desperately needs help, and the tragedy of her storyline is that none of the people around her can provide her with the help that she needs.

I also want to talk for a second about mental illness. You said that, "all of the charcaters in the show had problems but they were still more likable than she is", but that's not really how mental illness works. While mental illness can, and often is, triggered by trauma, people with no history of trauma can also be severely mentally ill, and people with a history of trauma can be totally fine from a mental health perspective. For Effy, it seems like she was just kind of born that way. This is someone who stopped talking around the age of six and didn't start again until she was fifteen. That's hardly a person who's mentally stable, even before you account for Tony getting hit by a bus right in front of her, her mother developing depression and a pill addiction, essentially taking care of both her mother and Tony through their recovery processes, her parents having a messy divorce, and essentially being abandoned by both of them when she needs them most.

In terms of why people like her, I actually don't think it's just her looks. I think for Cook, that's maybe why he was interested in her to begin with, but for Freddie, I think he's more interested in the fact that she was willing to go up to a random stranger and lick ketchup off their face before walking away. I think Freddie means it when he says he wants to "get to know" her. To Freddie, Effy is exciting and different and kind of confusing, and he's just curious about who she is and why she acts the way that she does. And for Cook, while he starts out as being interested in Effy because of how she looks, I think he continues being interested because he idealizes Effy as this beautiful girl who will be his partner in crime and let him keep avoiding his problems. He sees her as someone who’s like him and who understands what he’s going through. And then for other people, I think they like her because she's mysterious and they want to figure her out, because her attention makes them feel special (since she doesn't often pay attention to other people) or her lack of attention makes them want to impress her, because she seems like she knows everything about them even though they know nothing about her, and just in general because she has a reputation for being fun. A person's looks can only get them so far, but their personality is why people stick around. I think a good example of that is Mini in the 3rd generation. She's absolutely beautiful, but she has a lot of trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships because her personality is hard to be around.

And then in terms of friends, I don't think she really chose to be friends with Julie (the girl from series 1) or with Pandora. Both of them just kind of decided they were going to be her friend and Effy didn't do anything to get rid of them. So I don't think it's Effy intentionally "[befriending] girls that guys arent usually into" or that it's "some thing to make her feel better about herself and not feel threatened", but rather that girls who are a little odd and maybe don't understand social cues are the only ones who will keep trying to hang out with her even though she's clearly not interested. And for what it's worth, I do think she loves Pandora very much, even if she's not always the best friend to Pandora. I think Effy feels like she can trust that Pandora isn't going to stop wanting to be her friend, no matter what happens, and that she really values Pandora's optimism and excitement for the world, since it's something that Effy doesn't naturally feel. Pandora is really important to her, which is why she's so hurt when Pandora sleeps with Cook, even though she doesn't actually care about Cook himself.

Like I said at the beginning, I don't think you have to like Effy, and I know a lot of people don't. But I think she's more complicated than people make her out to be and that she's not annoying for the sake of being annoying.

[agentbootyreportingforduty]

so many things happened where i didn’t expect them to happpen like this or i’m just so confused by this direction??

• zava retiring with no fanfare or foreshadowing or anything after they just built him up for so many episodes??? i thought he’d end up injured or joining an opposing team like something dramatic

• shandy storyline like what is the point of having her go and make her own pr firm cmon like we do nottt want to see that bffr 😭

• higgins wanting to fire ted and them just brushing past it……… 🧍‍♀️

• the way we won so bad with jack and keeley and the bi keeley confirmation we’ve always wanted but like it’s gonna feel so wrong when they go back to focusing on roy x keeley. they didn’t consider the optics on that at all

• jade not showing any interest in nate before this but suddenly she’s into him? like they’re cute but i thought it’d be way more of a slow burn tbh

• what was the point of having keeley basically ignore rebecca this entire episode as she goes through something really difficult :( so ooc and also psychic storyline taking up wayyyy too much time this season like I thought it was gonna be sumn quick

• trent feeling more and more attached to the team and trying to help with strategy was so sweet but then also none of anyone’s ideas worked? i would have understood if the team were still affected by nate’s betrayal for a few games but why are they flopping suddenly no matter what and even with zava?? I wish we got to see more team dynamics or even training with zava so we could see firsthand how he was affecting morale

• still no update to colin or his relationship with michael or trent knowing or anything when it was such a huge cliffhanger

anyways im confused on some storyline choices and while i love the show i think media criticism and review is important as well so these are just my jumbled up thoughts and my personal opinion!!

[heartslobbf]

i watched heartstopper s2 because i was an avid osemanverse enjoyer in my early teen years (back when alice oseman still had anons on rip) and owe some of my aspec self-discovery to their writing. i knew they had written an aroace storyline into this series and wanted to see it because whilst i knew as an aroallo lesbian i wouldn’t totally resonate and might be a bit cheesed off by aspects of it, i enjoy aromantic crumbs, and i enjoy discussing aspec Stuff even more. it was……. an interesting experience? has certainly given me a lot to think about. gushy rant below the cut :)

i will say, i think that the amatonormativity is still strong, and rigid in this show. it’s like, isaac is the exception to the rule and his true love is books, and he gets to yell at his friends for all being so damn couple-y and romance-obsessed but there’s no resolution to that. is that realistic? yeah, sure, allo friends can fucking suck, but heartstopper is the kind of show aiming to do certain things for queer kids where id expect a dialogue about this. you know, charlie & co coming to understand aspec identities and becoming more conscious of how amatonormativity affects them, interrogating it in such a way that these queer couples can also be liberated from its trappings. juicy shit like that. didnt happen tho. isaac gets a book about asexuality (no mention of aromanticism on its cover!!! the word is used by the artist who vaguely explains both terms to isaac, but there is a much greater focus on asexuality, so much so that this morning i saw pink fucking news celebrating isaac’s asexual storyline without a mention of his aromanticism) and that’s it.

a lot of that criticism is arguably coloured by my experience as an aroallo person, because i just want aromanticism to be engaged with as aromanticism. you know aroaces we are besties in arms solidarity and all that, and im so fucking happy you got some great asexual rep that frequently used the word asexual, as well as your flag and iconography. like fuck yeah!!!!!! let’s go!!!!!! however, aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality, is not an ‘extreme form’ of asexuality, does not necessarily have anything to do with asexuality. im sure the aspec folks know this, but allo fuckers dont and that means that this canonically aromantic character who was emotionally affecting to me is one that im gonna be barred from resonating with again and again.

you know, moments of isaac’s story were so profound and moving for me. i cried at the kiss scene in episode 5, it was probably the single most relatable moment of tv (related to my experiences with sexuality) that ive ever seen. its certainly not my favourite tv moment of all time lol, relatability ≠ quality, but when youre part of a marginalised group and experience a lot of loneliness and alienation surrounding your identity it is great to see it reflected. i honestly loved that shit!!!!! ive been there!!!! that’s me!!!!!! the wanting and the not wanting!!! the jealousy and confusion and alienation, the longing to be able to feel what you can’t just so you don’t have to be so lonely, the knowledge that you’re just not that person…… oh it was great. it was fucking great. so you can maybe appreciate how upsetting it is for other people to neglect the aromantic facets of this canonically aromantic character, when we dont get shit.

having said that, asexuals also dont get shit; my issue is absolutely not with isaac being aroace, but rather with how mainstream understanding of aspec identities is still so piss poor that people neglect the aromantic aspect of that identity. i found isaac to be a relatable character and i enjoyed and appreciated that about him; i wish more people would talk about him being both asexual and aromantic, because aromanticism does not get talked about enough as anything other than an ‘extension’ of asexuality, an idea which only diminishes the complexity and vastness of both (fucking awesome and beautiful) identities. love and light and solidarity forever with all other aspec folk <3

[cr33p-a-z01d]

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT IM SO DAMN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS CAUSE I LITERALLY NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT CAUSE NO ONE IS INTERESTED BUT AHHH NOW I GET TO SHARE THE USELESS KNOWLEDGE IN MY BRAIN!!!

Dream Theater – Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory A DEEP DIVE

DISCLAIMER THIS IS ALL THEORY BY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- NONE OF THIS IS NESSACARILLY RELATED TO THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- But like that's kinda of the point of a concept album is to well have it have a set storyline --- but parts are up for interpretation.  

SECONDARY DISCLAIMER --- I did skip quite a lot of songs on the album as some --- While yes, have a part to the story --- Don't have enough, and if I included them this would take like 30 years. So it's the songs with the most set-in-stone information. As the others are more up for interpretation. BUT ALL THE SONGS ARE STILL VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY!! This is just to help understand

I have been thinking about this for years lol, but recently for the 25-year anniversary they dropped a PROFESSIONAL FUCKING NOVEL ON IT!!! It's coming out this month I'm so excited to read it and see what the album's story really was in contrast to how I interpreted it!!

LASTLY BEFORE CHECKING THIS OUT OR AFTER CHECK OUT THE ALBUM!!

HERE IS A LINK TO ONE THATS JUST THE SONGS MENTIONED IN THE ESSAY

Dream Theater – Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory

Nicolas is a young man. He keeps having these dreams, where he’s this girl. He feels like he is her; or was her. It’s affecting his everyday life – These dreams feel so real to him that he feels attached to them. So he decides it's in his best interest to go see someone to help him decipher these dreams.

Nicolas goes to see a hypno therapist — and that starts off our album.

Queue – Act I: Scene One: Regression

Nicolas is told to close his eyes and relax.

“Concentrate on your breathing–

–Imagine a brilliant white light above you”

“You will enter a safe place where nothing can harm you. –

– If at any time you need to come back, all you must do is open your eyes.”

He is now in his “dream space” It's like he's watching his past life on a screen – A girl named Victoria.

Queue – Act I: Scene Two: I. Overture 1928

It’s a strange sensation – A pleasant nightmare. Another whole life waiting for him; There’s a house that he’s drawn to, and he recognizes it. It doesn't feel new.

There's a room at the top of the stairs, he’s drawn up there. There's a girl in the mirror and he asks her.  “Young child won’t you tell me why I’m here?!” He saw it in her eyes — He gained control of his past life – he could now find out what happened to him through watching her memories.

From here on out I’m going to refer to Nicolas as Victoria. Cause right now it's her story that is important. It's like he’s watching a movie and Victoria is the main character but Victoria is his past self.

Queue – Act I: Scene Four: Beyond This Life

— Victoria was a young girl, involved with two. —

------------------------------------

HEADLINE: Murder, Young Girl Killed.

“Desperate shooting at Echos Hill,

dreadful ending, killer died; evidently

suicide.”

A witness heard the horrifying sound – He ran to find a woman dead and Lying on the ground.

Standing by her was a man, “Nervous, shaking, gun in hand.”

Witness says he tried to help but he had turned the weapon on himself — His body fell across that poor young girl. After shouting out in vain, the witness ran to call for assistance.

A sad close to a broken love affair…

------------------------------------

Police assumed that Victora had fallen for a man while already being committed to another. She tried to keep it secret but it seemed her ex-boyfriend did indeed know.

Victoria was on a date, in a park near her ex-boyfriend's house, on the night of her death; She wanted to be with the other man. Not him. So he fell into an evil way, but she had to let him down.

“She said, ‘I can't love a wayward man’”

She may have found a reason to forgive her ex-boyfriend for being how he is; If he had only tried to change…

Was their fatal meeting prearranged?

Had a violent struggle taken place?

There was every sign that led there

Witness found a switchblade on the ground

Was the victim unaware?

They continued to investigate

They found a note in the killer's pocket

It could have been a suicide letter

But the police couldn’t be so wrong. — Victoria was involved with two men. — She cheated on her boyfriend; Julain. for another man; Edward. cause Julian wasn’t what she wanted. They broke up and she went to be with Edward.

Things were good! She was happy — For a little… Until she realized he wasn’t what he seemed to be. Abuse maybe? We don’t know. — Sometime after she did so, she ran into Julian.  She had realized he was who she really wanted. So she hopes to reconcile with him and maybe have another chance. She tells him she's single.

Queue – Scene Nine: Finally Free

Victoria: “You know I’m really feeling good this Friday afternoon, I ran into Julian he said we should get together soon! He’s always had my heart he needs to know, I’m going to leave Edward. It’s time for him to go.”

Victoria met with Julian that night in secret; Without Edward knowing. Julian took her to a park late at night. I believe that they were drinking. They had made up; Julian and Victoria were back together. He had forgiven her.

Victoria thought she was safe, she was planning to break it off with Edward so it would do him no harm if he didn’t know…

If he didn’t know…

A yell;

Edward, his heavy footsteps nearing.

Victoria gasps

Edward punches Julian in the throat.

A bottle smashes, and things are breaking.

Edward pulls out a gun causing Julian to scream

Edward shoots Julian twice and he collapses

Victoria closes her eyes and starts screaming

Edward tells her to open her eyes.

Shooting her twice before running away.

Edward killed Victora, but Julian didn’t commit suicide. The police were so wrong… But the evidence pointed that way. — The suicide note? — Let's now go into Edwards's mind. See what he has done.

“Friday evening… The blood is still on my hands…To think that she would leave me now, for that ungrateful man. But I’m the sole survivor and there's no witness to the crime…I must act fast to cover up… I think that there's still time. Julian would seem hopeless and lost with this note, the cops will buy into the words that I wrote.”

-------------------------------------

“This feeling inside me, I finally

found my love I've finally broken free.

I’m no longer torn in two; I'd take

my own life before losing you…”

-------------------------------------

Edward heads back to the crime scene and slips the note into Julians pocket before calling the cops. When the cops arrived he told this story. It made headlines you heard it before!!

--------------------------------------------------

HEADLINE: Murder, Young Girl Killed.

“Desperate shooting at Echos Hill,

dreadful ending, killer died; evidently

suicide.”

A witness heard the horrifying sound – He ran to find a woman dead and Lying on the ground.

Standing by her was a man, “Nervous, shaking, gun in hand.”

Witness says he tried to help but he had turned the weapon on himself — His body fell across that poor young girl. After shouting out in vain, the witness ran to call for assistance.

A sad close to a broken love affair…

--------------------------------------------------

Back to our main man Nicolas who is the reason we even get to know this amazing story.  He now knows the full story — How he had died. He had learnt about by living through Victora. Now he can live the rest of his life putting him to peace and Victoria’s spirit to rest.

He believes they’ll meet again someday soon…

“Open your eyes Nicolas.” — Nicolas regains his conscience after learning what he needs to. He exits the Hypno Therapist's office and goes to his car. The thing about this kind of treatment he took, you tell what you’re seeing out loud. That Hypno Therapist heard everything… He knows everything… Not like that would matter, it’s the man's job!

Nicolas Drives home, not realizing he was being followed. As Nicolas exits his car and goes to open his apartment door a man appears behind him. The Hypno therapist; Edward in the past life. — Again it is up for interpretation but I believe that this means that its a cycle. Victoria was always supposed to die, No one was supposed to know it was Edward. But unlucky for Edward. Victoria's new body was near him. But no one could ever know not even in this life. – Edward was always meant to kill Victora no matter what universe.

WOAH THATS A LOT

tgats so cool HEHDBEHHEHD

im being forces to go to church so I will read that after